Mary (meb21) wrote in cynical_nurse,
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Lung police

Note: I have been unofficially diagnosed with asthma by a nurse practitioner; given that I've had bronchitis twice in the last 5 months, most recently 6 weeks ago, and it required a 12 day Prednisone taper to stop the barking cough, I'd call her diagnosis of "constrictive airway" a fair call.

Lady, if you're going to ask "Do you mind if I smoke?" and I reply "Yes, actually; I have asthma":

DO NOT

-go on about "ooh EVERYONE says that nowadays, it's like an EPIDEMIC". Yes, I stayed up all night with my brothers and sisters on the Asthma Bat-Phone cooking up the SEEKRIT Asthma Conspiracy: "You, meb21! Make sure none of the people in your patients' homes can smoke! It will drive them MAD and we will finally rule the WORLD!"

-say stuff like "Did you hear they're taking that stuff off the market" and make some vague inhaler-type motion with your hand. What is ThatStuff? Should I ask my doctor if ThatStuff(tm) is right for me? Perhaps if you quit the pack a day of that nicotine stuff you're smoking you'd be better off. But I'm a bad nurse, of course, judging you.

-fondle your lighter and pout for the rest of the visit. You're not even my bloody patient! I'm here to see your aunt! Can you hold off of a smoke for 45 minutes while I assess her?? Or go out on the porch!
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